You Don't...You don't care that I'm still here waiting (for you)You don't care that I haven't been able to move on. You don't want to know that I can still hear your voice l u l l i n g m e t o s l e e p. You don't want to know that your smell is still on
Everything Must EndI'm sorry. I'd like to be miserable and alone for a while.I'm sorry I can't be with you. I'd like to be unhappy with someone else.I'm sorry, I'm in love with an idea. Which isn't you."I'm sorry"-You drove four hours here everyother weekend (sometimes more)and you watched CNN every night,and played boggle and scrabble andshitty video games so that maybeI would love you again.I know you tried. I did too.Just maybe not as hard.-You learned that it's not your fault.And that maybe you can be okay.And that you can be loved.But best of all,you miraculously stayed alive.I learned to cry my guts out.And that I should bemore careful about what I promise.And that sometimeseven everything isn't enough.
Replace myselfI want to openup this notebookand turn myselfinto something else.I want to write abouthow colourful the leaveshave become and abouthow magically that sunsetblossomed yesterday evening.I want to saythat I'm happyand write poemsabout how greatit feels to bein love.I want to scream outthat I'm at least contentwith the way Im livingmy life. That I wouldn'tchange for anyoneor anything.I want to write myself lies.I want to believe them.